There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
