My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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