rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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