Can i not drive my cunt home
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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