somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
