Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
