ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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