how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
