Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We are two peas in an std pod
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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