the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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