During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
