the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
