i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
