When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
