sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
