just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm too high and old for this...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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