And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
