Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
