You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
