he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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