I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The uberlube is also flammable
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
