love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
