FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
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i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just found puke in my bra..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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