Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
