Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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