There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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