I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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