Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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