I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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