its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
