Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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