I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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