I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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