btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
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If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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