I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
