i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
