Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
