you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize