Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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