he wants to bone in the snuggie
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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