Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
