gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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