i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize