I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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