You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize