Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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