New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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