im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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