Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
