i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
