and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
