remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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