no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
