so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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