so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
