We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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