i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
