therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize