I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
