I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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